Accounting & Me: A Love/Hate Relationship

So you know how I complain about accounting all the time?

Like, all the time?

That's just talk.

Really, I love accounting. Mostly. No, I do.

Does that seem strange to you? That someone could possible love accounting? Probably. It used to seem strange to me, too. Until it happened.

I love problem-solving. I love searching for the answer and balancing entries. I love 14-column work paper. I love Excel. I love my TI-83 calculator. But not as much as I love my adding machine. There's something about the noise an adding machine makes as I'm pounding furiously at the keys that I just can't get enough of.

(Side note: Do you know what the most annoying thing in the world is? Adding machines and telephones have their numbers in reverse order. On an adding machine, 123 are the bottom three numbers and on a telephone 789 are the bottom numbers. You don't even know how many times I've dial wrong phone numbers because of this. Once you go adding machine, you never go back.)

But back to "I love my adding machine." I wish I had an adding machine. I think someday soon I will buy one for my personal use. A calculator is not even close to the same thing. I definitely miss my adding machine at work. I would talk more about it, but this is a post about accounting, not my adding machine.

I love learning strange accounting tidbits. Here's a story for you: Say someone is trading in their old car for a new car at the dealer, and they have to pay an additional $1000. Have you ever heard someone say the phrase "to boot"? As in, "I gave them my old car and $1000 to boot!" Yes? You know you have.

"Boot" is an accounting word. For real. I am not making this stuff up, because I'm not that creative. Boot is the additional value in a like-kind exchange. So the $1000 is the boot. That's seriously what it's called. You can give boot and receive boot. (And yes, I used 'boot' correctly in that sentence.) See, accounting CAN be interesting!

I love learning account laws, called Generally Accepted Accounting Principles, or GAAP. (Pronounced like "gap.") You know how many things in this world are the way they are now because of GAAP? A freaking lot. It's crazy how much the world revolves around accounting, and you didn't even know it!

(Side note: Generally Accepted Auditing Standards are called GAAS. Accounting is funny, too.)

I love learning tax laws. You wouldn't believe the kind of stuff I hear in tax class. I love the challenge of consolidated financial statements. I love the feeling I get when I finally grasp a difficult concept.

I love that accounting never changes. I mean, it does change a little bit, but only minor changes like accounting for depreciation or gains/losses. The theory will always stay the same. I love that the things I learned in my first accounting class are still things I use today.

I love the balance sheet, income statement, and the statement of retained earnings. I love the way they tie together the financial status of a company. I do not like the statement of cash flows. Well...if I can just look at it I don't mind it. I do not like to create it.

I love accounting. So what? Does that make me weird? Well, I think it's weird that you like science, or nursing, or psychology, or music, or teaching. I couldn't do any of those things, I can tell you that right now. I wouldn't be good at any of them, because that's not the way my mind words.

I love how analytical accounting is. I love how it always, always makes sense. I mean, it maybe doesn't always make sense to me, but it always makes sense to people smarter than me. There's never any "we don't know what to do here" or "we're not sure how this happened" or "we have no idea what caused this." It's black and white. It's always yes, no, right, wrong. It's straightforward. And I love it.

fifteen...

...things I will never be good at.


1. Knowing when it's my turn to go at a 4-way stop. Don't ask me why this is so difficult for me. I have no idea.

2. Mental math. End of story.

3. Accounting procedures for capital and rental leases. They will forever be beyond my grasp.

4. Cooking without a recipe. Never gonna happen.

5. Science. Blech.

6. Physics. Double blech.

7. Calculus. Don't even get me started.

8. Making pie crusts. Usually I end up throwing something.

9. Long-distance running. It kills me.

10. Any athletic event involving hand-eye coordination. I hurt myself.

11. Golf. I hurt myself. Don't ask.

12. Art. Well...are you surprised?

13. Hairstyling. Unless you like frizz.

14. Painting my fingernails. They always look messed up.

15. Social situations. I'm an awkward person.


Well, what can I say? I have my areas of excellence, and they aren't these.

Mostly they're areas involving boring things like organization and accounting (except for those evil leases) and cleaning.

But I guess that's okay.

Why I Love...

My cowgirl shoes. In ten reasons or less.

Scratch that. In ten reasons or more. I might have trouble limiting myself.

1. They're peep-toe. Duh.
2. They have a stacked heel.
3. They look like they have cow hair on them.
4. But it feels like horse hair.
5. Hence, cowgirl.
6. The inside side of the shoe is a cutout.
7. They make my feet happy.
8. I generally find the more off-the-wall the shoe is, the better I like it.
9. And the less likely you will have it.
10. They were 40% off.
11. They have awesome stitching.
12. Shoes with names like "cowgirl" or "crocodile" or "Mary Janes" or "Red Friday pumps" or "hooker boots" or "the devil's footwear" (and yes, I actually own shoes by those names) are infinitely better than shoes like "flats" and "heels."
13. And finally, what's not to love?


P.S. If you look very closely you can see my flip-flop tan lines. Awesome.

a wedding dress photo op

This post is dedicated to my dear friend who recently got engaged and will soon experience the joy (and pain) of wedding dress shopping. Congratulations, Laura!

Wedding dress shopping.

What an adventure.

I went wedding dress shopping in April, nine months before my January wedding. It was a little early, I admit, but I would soon be stuck in the wilds of northern Minnesota, and any trip to a wedding boutique would be at least 45 minutes. The nearest David's Bridal was two and a half hours. I didn't want to wait until the fall when I'd be back in the cities, so I decided to get my dress in the spring before I went home for the summer. Plus, let's face the music, I was really excited.

I sort of had an idea of what I wanted, but to start I grabbed a bunch of random dresses to try on.

Dress numero uno.

The back reminded me of a tuxedo. And I didn't like the see-through lace all the way up and down the train.

And the front...

It definitely pulled off that hourglass shape. Or maybe that was due to the crazy undergarments I was wearing.


Not a winner. The back reminded me of a beetle.

This is actually the dress one of my friends wore at her wedding several years ago. I didn't know it at the time, but I saw pictures later and was like, "HEY! I tried that dress on!" It had buttons all the way down the back and it was very pretty, but not for me.

Check out this one:

I think it's safe to say Alaina and mermaid style do not do well together.

Falling-off dress.

The above dress was actually worn by another friend at her wedding, but it was after this. Her wedding was that following August and when I saw her in her dress I just knew I had tried that one on. When she got closer I could tell for sure. Yep, same dress. Kind of ironic that out of the 10 or so dresses I tried on, two were worn by other people I know in their weddings.

This one was too floaty.

And this one was my favorite.

I loved the ties in the back.

And the flouncy skirt.

I loved the whole thing.

But, it was not the dress I bought that day.

It was about this time my mother talked me into trying a dress with a halter strap.

Halter strap: take one.

That would be a no-go.

A very, very, definite no-go.

You can't tell from this picture, but this dress actually had giant white rose blossoms stuck all over the back. Mercy, were there ever rose balls on that dress.

Halter strap: take two.

A critical eye on the dress. My mom, aunt, and sister, who were with me, LOVED this dress.

The back. I did love the lace.

Trying to decide.

It was a winner in the end. My mom and aunt said I might someday regret getting a dress that was so "modern." Which may very well be true. Sometimes I wish I would have purchased my first choice. Other times I don't mind so much. But in the end, I did love my dress on my wedding day, and I guess that's what is most important.

So, Laura, my wedding dress shopping advice? Try on as many dresses as you want and don't let anyone talk you into anything you don't want. It's your day. I wish you all the best in your wedding dress shopping excursions. Love you lots!

I Must Be Crazy

I'm actually considering the CPA exam.

I know, I know. Those of you who know me and my intense dislike for exams, studying, homework, and the CPA exam in general are probably more than shocked. I mean, who wouldn't want to take an exam with a 30% passing rate? And just for your information, that number does not mean 30% pass the CPA on their first try. Oh no. It means 30% OVERALL. Seventy whole percent of people who take the CPA will eventually give up. Lovely news. Do you want to know what percentage of people pass the CPA on their first try? It's estimated at about 15%. Those are some smart cookies, there.

Being a fifth-year accounting major, I happen to know a couple of people who are in the process. And oh, the horror stories they have to tell. It's not pretty. Hours of studying, multiple fails. It doesn't sound like any fun at all.

Here's how the CPA exam breaks down, because I'm sure you're dying of curiosity.

The CPA exam is made up of four sections: Auditing & Attestation; Financial Accounting & Reporting; Regulation; and Business Environment & Concepts. It costs about $1,000 to take the CPA, and that's not counting the cost of a review course, which can range anywhere from $1,000-$2,000. (And let me tell you, if I ever do take the CPA, you can bet your butt I'm taking a review course. Study on my own? Are you freakin' KIDDING me?!) So it would cost me at least $2,000, depending on my review course of choice. Although, as my current accounting professor likes to point out, that's a cheap Master's. Which is oh so true. Although sometimes I wonder if a Master's would be easier.

You have 18 months to successfully pass all four sections of the exam. If you do not finish the last one before your passing grade (75% or better) on the first one expires, you have to retake the first one. This is why it is recommended you take the most difficult section first, which varies for each individual. That way, it's all downhill from there. You don't want to wait and do the most difficult section last and run out of time, because no one wants to put themselves through that much misery. The exams can only be taken 8 months of the year, called testing windows. They are Jan/Feb; April/May; July/August; and Oct/Nov. The other months are closed to testing. You can take each section once during each testing window. So if you were really ambitious (and really stupid...or a genius) you could take all four in two months. This is not recommended.

To apply to take the CPA you have to fill out a million forms, pay a fee of who even knows how much, and wait 6-8 weeks while your credentials are verified. Then you have to schedule the first test. And study. And pass. And then you would schedule the second test. Et cetera.

Also, did I mention in the state of Minnesota you have to have at least 150 credits, of which 24 must be upper-level? No? In case you don't know, a normal Bachelor's degree is 120 credits. So yeah, lots of school there. Fortunately for me, I got screwed over transferring so I have one million credits. Actually, 163, but you get the picture.

To actually receive the CPA license you have to:
(1) Actually pass the CPA exam, which is easier said than done
(2) Complete one year of work experience (just found out working for the government qualifies)
(3) Pass the self-study Ethics Exam
(4) Apply for the CPA Certificate

And to maintain your license you would need to have continuing education. I want to say it's 80 hours over a two-year period, with no less than 20 hours in a year, but I might be wrong. If you are REALLY curious, you can probably find the answer here. I'm not feeling up to searching for it at the moment.

So now that you know all about this evil exam, what are your opinions? In the current economy it is highly advantageous to have a CPA. And I do really want it. I just don't want to do the work. Which is pathetic, but true. Anyway, the reason I've been thinking about it so much lately is because everyone (and by everyone I mean everyone who is an accountant) says I should be doing it. I ran into my accounting professor from St. Scholastica at a job fair yesterday and he asked me if I was going to take it. He told me I should. My current accounting professor is under the belief that the CPA is for everyone, so I know he wants me to take it. But I have to say, I'm not feeling it.

I'm definitely closer to considering it now than I ever have been, but I'm still unsure. One, it's very expensive. Two, I only want to take it if I'm going to pass. Who wants to be in that 70% bracket? Not me. And there's no one who can guarantee I will pass. Kaplan CPA review says it takes about 250-400 hours of study for the whole exam, which really isn't too bad when you think about it. That breaks down to a maximum of 100 hours per section, and it's recommended you schedule your test at least 45 days out, so that means studying for a maximum of 2.2 hours everyday. (And yes, I did that on my calculator.) Which compared to the homework I've been doing the past four and a half years, isn't actually all that bad.

Well, I'm tired of thinking about the CPA exam. It's too stressful. Hopefully you found this very informative. And I'm sure you're oh-so-happy you didn't major in accounting.

And if you did, I pity your soul.

Three Reasons...

...why it's been a month since I posted on my blog.

#1. I moved. Way more work than I ever anticpated. I'm still not totally settled, probably only about 90%.

#2. I started school. Kill me now. Please. If you don't, Advanced Accounting will. Or Tax. It doesn't matter which. All I know is that one of them will surely do me in.

#3. I discovered Twilight. That took a considerable amount of my time. If you haven't read it, you should. And if you think you won't like it, you will. I thought it would be weird too, but everyone said it was so good so I gave it a shot. Kind of like when everyone was reading Harry Potter and I thought that was stupid. Sometimes, even if you don't like a particular genre, the book is so well-written that you enjoy it anyway.

I will get back to more regular postings. I promise.

I hope.

Moving

Someday soon I will hopefully get around to updating ya'll on my life lately...it's been busy, that's for sure. I have tons of pictures from the Fargo Air Show, moving, and the State Fair. Unfortunately they're still on my camera.

School started on Thursday. Bleh. Kill me now. If you don't, Tax will.