yesterday

I had a bad day yesterday.

Bad days are unusual for me. I can usually "rise above" most situations, and while I might get mad at the kids, or upset about something, it usually doesn't bring me down for long. Sure, there are long days when I'm ready for the kids to go to bed, or days where I just want to spend the evening zoning out in front of the TV (read: every day), but for the most part, these days don't affect my overall mood. In general, when I have a bad day, it's because bad things happened.

Yesterday was different. And it wasn't even a sequence of events, or anything in particular that happened (although these things did contribute to the bad day), that caused my day to be bad. It just was.

It's hard to explain, but it was like instead of projecting emotions out, it was like I internalized everything, all the negative things, large and small, that happened during the day.

After the kids went to bed, I told Darren I had had a bad day and just wanted to go to sleep. He asked what had happened. I said, "Everything." What I meant was, life. Life happened, and it was just too much for me yesterday. I just couldn't even deal with the day anymore.

It was the strangest feeling, to be so upset about nothing in particular, and everything at once.

I'm glad yesterday is over.