It took me a little longer. I thought I was going to die from the combination of sleep deprivation and lack of food and water.
Not healthy. Not healthy at all. Just about passed out a couple of times, which would have been very not good.
It's hard to force myself to sleep, but I give it my best. It's been at least a week since I last spent two hours in the middle of the night staring at the ceiling.
There's nothing worse than those 2-4am hours spent staring at the ceiling. It's exhausting.
I've also been eating better, even if sometimes Darren has to remind me, or put a can of soup and a bowl on the counter for me in the morning. It's very strange, this state of "never-hungry" I'm in. It's never happened to me before, but really, it isn't all that bad. When you're never hungry, you don't miss food. I do well when we go up north for the weekends and people prepare food for me. I get my three meals a day in then. It's just when I'm down in the cities by myself, it just seems like so much work, and hey, since I'm not hungry anyway...well, I just let it go.
But I did have some cereal for breakfast today, a meal I'd started skipping. And sadly, what got me back on track is the knowledge that eating breakfast jump-starts your metabolism, allowing you to burn more calories. (Now is that sad or what?) I once read that it's better to eat a donut for breakfast than to eat nothing.
Amen to that.
So, we are progressing. I'm sleeping and eating. Natalie is most definitely eating and sleeping. In fact, she slept through the night the past two nights. She went 10 whole hours between feedings the past two nights, which has been amazing. I, of course, still wake up around 5:00/5:30 and toss and turn, expecting her to start crying any minute, every little peep she makes keeping me from falling asleep, but hopefully that will pass with time.
What I have most taken away from this experience, is that being a mom is hard.
Surprise!
It's not all smiles and kisses all the time. It is sacrifice. But so worth it.
No comments:
Post a Comment