Valvoline

Since I started my new job, I have been taking the vehicles to get oil changes at the Valvoline near where I work.

I love the Valvoline. So quick. So convenient. So reasonable.

Today I took the truck. Now, I have had a few embarrassing oil changes in the truck before; namely when I have not been able how to open the hood, or when I don't know how to get the mirrors in and the poor guys have to keep crawling under them.

But not this time. No, sirree. I double-checked that I knew how to open the hood (it's a hidden lever, I swear!) and I knew that the mirrors just needed a good, solid push to fold in.

I was ready.

I managed to pull into the garage without hitting either of the side mirrors (a gold star if there ever was one) and parked the vehicle. Got the spiel on Valvoline from the tech, who I recognized. I recognized them all, which worries me a little, because it's possible they recognized me. Or at least, they will now.

During the all-point inspection, or whatever the tech called it, it was noticed that I had a brake bulb out. The tech said he could replace it and I told him to go for it. This was the beginning.

After he had replaced it he instructed me to turn the key "two clicks" and tap on the brakes. I obediently turned the key one click, which turned on the accessories, and then started to turn to the second click, only WAIT! There ISN'T a second click. I started the vehicle. This immediately led to a lot of "WHOA, WHOA" from all the guys, including the one who was lying beneath the vehicle. Sorry, man. Probably about gave you a heart attack, huh? I turned it off before it even finished starting, but STILL. That was embarrassing. But c'mon, I can't take full blame for this, can I? I say we come up with a less confusing way to ask people to put the vehicle in the accessories position. Maybe like, "TURN YOUR VEHICLE TO ACCESSORIES." I mean, doesn't that seem reasonable?

You know what else was embarrassing? Having to sit there while they finished, just knowing they are thinking you are dumber than a box of rocks. Granted, I'm sure I'm not the first one to do that, and I probably won't be the last.

So then, everything is all finished up and I am having them reset the "OIL CHANGE" flashing annoyance on my dashboard, which I had forgotten the last time, so literally it had been there for a solid 5,000 miles or so. The tech is telling me how to do it since the select/reset switch is on the right side of the dash, too far for him to reach easily. So we get her all set and they tell me it's good to go, only there are still things flashing up there, which I am distracted by. The supervisor opens the door and starts motioning me to pull out, only when I put my foot on the gas nothing happens. What the heck? Does this have anything to do with the flashing lights on my dash? I try the gas again. Nothing. I put the truck back in park and tell the tech that nothing is happening, while pointing at the things on my dash asking if that's okay. I can only hope he was moderately confused by what I was saying (although I doubt it). In any case, the next words out of his mouth were "it's not on" and "yes, that's okay."

Yes, the truck wasn't on. I was in FLIPPING ACCESSORIES, of all things. These people probably wonder how I even managed to obtain a driver's license.

SO EMBARRASSING.

You know what's better? I have to take the Escape later this week. And let me tell you, having worked in customer service before, you remember the idiots.