I opened a brand-new bottle of Miracle Whip the other night.

This is the expiration date. I'm pretty sure I got this Miracle Whip shortly after we were married for mere pennies.

My mother raised me to disregard expiration dates. In fact, there's not a single food product I won't eat past its expiration date. Unless, that is, it smells bad. Or is moldy. Although sometimes I just cut off the mold. Like on cheese, for instance.

I'll drink milk until it tastes bad, and eat yogurt the same length of time. Yogurt lasts for months past its expiration date.

But nothing holds a candle to Miracle Whip. Sixteen months after its expiration date and I'll still eat it. Likely, I won't place any expiration on Miracle Whip until it makes me sick. Although realistically, I probably would have been more skeptical about this particular bottle if the bottle before it - the bottle I just finished off and threw out - didn't have the exact same expiration date. And, since I'm pregnant right now, chances are good I wouldn't have eaten it.

I did actually throw out some sausage a couple weeks ago. I was cooking it up and it smelled really bad. Looking back now, I'm not sure if it was too far gone or if it was just my pregnancy nose. Guaranteed, if I hadn't been pregnant I would have eaten it anyway.