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I have two kids - a girl and a boy - and live in north-central Minnesota, land of snow and ice. Well, for 9 months of the year, that is. I work full-time for a local government, and on my "free time" I enjoy cooking, baking, hanging out with my kiddos, and RELAXING.

Thursday, August 6, 2009

The Most Eventful Old Testament Class Ever

I go to a Christian college and am required to take Bible classes.

They're a nice break from Auditing, let me tell you.

Sophomore year I had Old Testament with around 100 freshmen. I had transferred in so I was a year behind on all my Bible classes. It was okay with me; I had three freshmen roommates who later became three great friends. We all had Old Testament together.

The first day of Old Testament I arrived at a different time than the rest of my roommates, and the carousel was already half full.

Side note: I had my Old Testament class in a room (one of two) called a "carousel." This room seated about 100-150 students and was actually a huge revolving circular room. Between 10:30 and 11:00 am, every weekday, the room would spin 180 degrees to face a much larger room--Maranatha Hall--where the entire student body attended mandatory chapel. The carousel was set up kind of like a movie theater, with a wide screen/white board in front and a large flat area for the professor. The rest was "stadium seating," I guess you could say. None of this matters...that's why it's a side note.

The carousel was set up in three sections. The two side sections, near the walls, had three seats to a row, and the very large middle section probably had between 10 and 12 seats. Now I am not a people person and I do not like to be trapped in a large row with people on both sides. Plus the center area was already filling up quickly. I sat in a row of three near the wall. My roommates actually ending up sitting clear across the room in another row of three, which probably worked out well at the time because had I been sitting with them, I probably still would not understand Malachi and Obadiah to this day.

Not to say that I remember the themes to Malachi and Obadiah. But I did know them at some point.

Anyway, there I sat, by myself, until a brunette freshman named Natalie came to sit next to me. She was on the volleyball team and had an increasing tendency to fall asleep in class. I always gave her a poke; I didn't want her to miss learning about the books of prophecy, after all. Next to Natalie sat a blonde girl. I can't remember her name but I think it was something like Alli?? Maybe?? She was funny and NEVER took notes. I have no idea how she passed that class. All four of our exams were based solely on in-class lectures, so she either had a great memory or excellent multiple-choice luck. And the one thing I remember about her: she always had coffee. Blech.

Behind us sat a girl who was always talking and a rather large boy whose name I don't even know. I think another girl sat with them, but it is mostly the boy I remember. He had reddish-hair and a rather scraggly-looking beard. He wore glasses and hardly ever spoke. He had big tennis shoes on his big feet and wore shorts more often than not. And the reason I remember him so clearly, when I hardly remember the two girls, is not because he was anything to look at, nor because of his astonishing intelligence. It is because he threw up on me.

It was just another day in Old Testament. A Wednesday, if I recall correctly. Class was just wrapping up. I had already put my huge binder of notes in my backpack and was leaning down to put my Bible in when I heard it. The unmistakable sound of someone blowing chunks. Nasty.

And then I felt it. It was on me. Even more nasty. Apparently the boy behind Natalie, Alli, and I hadn't been feeling well. Why in heaven's name he didn't put his head down and throw up on the floor, I'll never know. Talk about your projectile vomiting. Alli got the worst of it, as she sat right in front of him, Natalie next to her, and me farthest away. So really, it could have been much worse.

We all kind of sat there in shock for a couple seconds. I just never really pictured being in that situation. What should I do? If you have ever been unfortunate enough to have someone throw up on you when you are least expecting it, you will understand. I remember turning around to look at the boy and he had his head down towards the ground. And honestly, I felt worse for him than I did for myself. I mean, it's one thing to be puked on. That's nasty. It's another thing entirely to be the one puking on other people. That's embarrassing beyond all measure.

The three of us went to the bathroom to try and clean up a little. Natalie and Alli had vomit in their hair, poor girls. I wasn't that unfortunate. It was just on my sweatshirt and jeans. We all skipped chapel--with good reason--and went to our dorms to clean up. I couldn't even handle just changing clothes. I took a shower, threw my jeans and sweatshirt in the washer immediately, and made myself presentable again. It was so disgusting. I can handle baby spit-up, and even toddler puke, but when a college student pukes on you...well, adult puke is nasty.

Old Testament was never the same after that. Every time I would look at that boy I would think "he's the boy who threw up on me in Old Testament." Poor guy; I don't know how he ever showed his face in class again. He still goes to college there. I still see him every so often. I wonder if he recognizes me. I'll never forget him, that's for certain. He is, and will always be, the boy who threw up on me.

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