Well, we survived. Grand Cayman (the locals say Cay-MAN, not Cay-men, apparently) was pretty awesome, but it's always nice to be home where people speak real English, a gallon is actually a gallon, and Honey Nut Cheerios are NOT five dollars a box.
Some things I learned from Grand Cayman:
-Fire trucks only have blue lights. I know because I stood next to one at three FREAKING thirty in the morning while my hotel was on fire.
-$9.99 large pepperoni pizzas at Domino's are just as good in Grand Cayman as in the US, and are well worth an hour-long car ride...going 40 mph
-Prices are in US Dollars. Or Cayman Islands Dollars. Who knows until you pay?
-Just because something is advertised as, say, a pirate cave, does not mean you will get to see an actual pirate cave. You may end up visiting a petting zoo for rescued animals.
-The speed limit of 35 kph means everyone else on the island will drive either 65 kph or 15 kph.
-Even if you pay for something is US Dollars does not mean you will receive US Dollars in return.
-When you go to a pool bar and the drinks don't have prices next to them, assume you will pay upwards of $10 per drink. Correction: per unit of diluted juice, limited alcohol, and a lot of ice.
-A 15% gratuity is included in everything, even though the waiter/bartender does not deserve it. (See mention of diluted drinks.)
-When the customs official says "Welcome to the islands" he actually means "I hate my job. I hate my life. And I'm going to take it out on you and scare you so bad you won't ever think of lying to me when I ask you if you have alcohol or tobacco."
-Stingrays can give you hickeys. Enough said.